Chapter 2 - Timely Care

 I was rushed to Apollo within 10 minutes and got diagnosed with a stroke and my right side was impacted. My face was also partially affected. This meant that there was a clot in the left side of my brain. The cause was DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis) 

For context, in 2012 I was diagnosed with DVT upon my return from a trip to Manali with a swollen ankle. I was prescribed to be on daily blood thinners going forward.

Later, in 2017, we went on a family trip to Ladakh. Before the trip I went for a routine check- up with a vascular surgeon who ill advised me to discontinue blood thinners as I no longer needed it. Nevertheless, I continued the medicine till I came back from the trip. But gradually, I reduced the frequency of taking blood thinners and finally stopped taking them.

While I cannot remember anything that happened immediately after my stroke, my dear ones experienced it vividly:

I was told that it was a herculean task bringing me to the hospital. It seems I was beating my right leg and right hand vigorously and was trying to say something. When I came to consciousness, I was in the emergency care and surrounded by a lot of people. There were some doctors, nurses, and some anxious, familiar, people around. 

There was one elderly lady amongst them who I could recognize and I addressed her by her formal name. She was in tears, mainly because the lady, my mother, never expected to be addressed that way by me.  Ironically, the other familiar faces were my husband, son, daughter, and youngest sister. All of them were mere acquaintances to me.

By this time I had developed Bilingual aphasia and turned to be annoyingly chatty, providing my unsolicited opinion on every single topic irrespective of its importance! For example, I was immediately required to be given a crucial TPA injection (IV Alteplase) where the dosage is based on the body weight. The doctor was asking my husband what I weighed and I blurted out “86kgs”

WRONG!!  I weighed 68 kgs!!!!

The TPA administration started. The doctor had warned my family that they would have to stop the medicine in between if I experience any headache. After being given about 10ml of TPA, the headache certainly came on. Further medication at this time would mean that there was a very high chance of a brain hemorrhage. So the medication was halted and I was apparently immediately taken for another scan, and on the way I threw up. Luckily the initial dose administered had dissolved the clot. (I came to know later that this injection is ineffective if administered more than once in a lifetime). 

Anyway, it seems I underwent an MRI, CT scan of the brain, and CT scan angiography and then onwards to ICU, where I had started gaining awareness.

There my neurologist came to see me in the evening rounds and asked me to identify some simple objects like a pen and a watch. I could not identify them; I called a pen a watch and vice versa. Oh Well!!

Many of my colleagues came to see me during the visiting hours. I obviously could not recognize anyone. To my query on who I was, one of them answered, “Madam, you are the principal of a college” That did not mean anything much. My family was constantly around me, but that too did not have any impact. I was lost in my own world and could not comprehend many things happening around me. 

The next morning, I had two deep thoughts and was waiting for two specific people. The first person was the doctor who came for his usual rounds, and I had to provide my well thought out answers without his asking. I recognized a pen and a watch. Now I was ready for the next thought. I was anxiously waiting for the other person to come and see me. When he arrived, I asked the question right away – “What comes after 99?” he said, “It is a Hundred”.

I was counting all night and could not reach 3 digits!!!. I believed him though I was unsure who he was!!!. Strangely, I inquired about my mother-in-law who had passed away 21 years ago!!  I later realised, that man was my husband

By that evening I was shifted out of ICU into a ward. The nurse asked me to walk to the bed from the stretcher and I felt like I was walking for the very first time. Thank God, I could.

It seems the doctor had instructed my folk to ask personal questions to awaken my memory and for the most part my responses were wrong. I was subjected to interrogation mostly by my sister. She was especially trying hard to remind me of her existence as I used to call her by my other sister's name who lived on the other side of the world. My kids would come to see me and I always wondered who they were and why they looked so sad !!

A few days later, I was discharged, went to my mother's house and stayed there for almost a week. At the time, I believed I was 12 years old and had a sister who was 4. I also wondered if my mother had changed her house as I only recalled my childhood home. My other sister who was younger to me by 8 years called me and I was very excited to talk to her, because I could easily remember her name and that she was my sister. Over the next few days I could recognize my mother, and asked her how my sister could speak so eloquently over the phone. According to me, she was 4. My mother had no answers. Instead, she gave me old photo albums. I went through them and slowly started gathering information about myself. 

To further my progress, my husband insisted that I go through my mobile. I had a lot of revelations. It made me understand who my connections were and what conversations I had.

I was a 52 year-old woman with a 27 year-old son and a 21 year-old daughter. 

Now, the task at hand was to recollect all the events and happenings of my life, right from my perceived age of 12, onwards.

Strangely, I did not think of my dear father at all; we had lost him 2 years earlier.  

It makes me wonder how the human brain processes loss! Did I subconsciously know that he was no more?