Healing,Hope & Resilience

It is said time is a great healer. It helps us adapt to difficult circumstances and to gradually find a way to move forward, no matter how deep the loss is. Over time, I’ve come to understand what that truly means—to live in the present while holding onto the memories of the past and keeping my husband close in my thoughts. Life must go on—not just for ourselves, but for those we hold dear. After the refreshing trip to the US, I returned to work rejuvenated and began accepting more responsibilities and setting goals. This included visits to rural and urban educational institutions. Travel proved to be a revitalizing experience, and I seemed to feel more cheerful and social as well. A colleague who was a Doctor remarked that the motor skills on the left side of my body had improved. Left side? I wondered why she commented on my left and hadn't noticed that it was my right side that needed improvement. Upon my inquiry about that, she said that I was performing my daily routine as tho...

  After a few months of being weighed down by sorrow, I realized I had to find my way back somehow. I was also not sure if I would be immobile and be a burden on my children. As the first step towards restarting progress, I began visiting a physical therapist. I needed to strengthen my calf muscles to start walking. I was really driven, so I worked hard and, through a lot of pain and persistent effort, I managed to start walking. My life has always been busy and productive, be it work, music, playing veena, or cooking. With my current state, my mind was now constantly wandering with unwanted thoughts and I needed to keep engaged for sanity. I found an opportunity to get involved in an NGO. It was an educational opportunity. There was only one issue: commuting. Having been away from driving for a while now, it took a lot of courage to get back behind the wheel, especially to readjust to left-hand driving. Somehow, I was able to hold the steering wheel with my impacted right hand. Wi...

  The period between late 2021 and late 2022 was the most difficult period of my life by far, in terms of physical, mental, and emotional challenges. Even though I was taking care of my nutrition, I had lost weight, was looking pale, and my eyes were hollowed out. At that time, I was on the correct dose of blood thinners, and I experienced changes in my menstrual cycle. My trusted gynecologist, familiar with my medical history, helped me manage the impact of blood thinners on my periods, which could lead to iron deficiency and medical interventions like a third stroke in my case. In just 2 months, my haemoglobin level had already dipped to 8.1g/dL, which is quite low. So, with evaluation, my gynecologist immediately recommended that I get a hysterectomy to prevent further setbacks.  I was back in the hospital within 3 months of my stroke. My gynecologist advised me that I could return to my daily activities after a week, provided I took certain precautions, such as avoiding h...

A few days after I was discharged, I returned to work. Now, I had to add an additional hour of occupational therapy every day amidst the COVID-19 shutdown. Besides this, my husband's health was deteriorating day by day. This proved to be a bigger challenge for us. Since my first stroke, I was already living with Anomia where I could not recall the actual name of an object; my confusion between a pen and a watch. This lingers on to this day.   Using one working hand to go about my daily activities was a whole other saga all on its own, especially when I had always been a right handed and my stroke now affected this  dominant hand. During my first recovery phase, I received consistent help at home. But this time around I wanted to be self reliant. Saree was the official dress code, and wearing it came with its own set of challenges. Initially, I would get confused as to how to hold the saree. It would be either upside down, or sometimes flipped left to right. To wear it wi...

  I would joke around saying that if anyone gets a headache, it proves that they have a head. But jokes apart, the headache was so severe that I blacked out, and apparently, I was smacking my head wildly. I know that I couldn't see, hear, or feel any touch. I cannot recall about my smell and taste sensation. Luckily my son, who was helping me in the kitchen at that time, helped me sit on a chair as I was losing my balance. After a few minutes, I came back to my senses and felt completely normal. The headache was gone; I seemed to have become alright in a jiffy and interestingly, found myself surrounded by my family. They were surprised that I recovered so quickly from this episode and suspected that something serious may have happened. There started a series of tests. My husband suggested that I lift a heavy object, and my son asked me to climb the stairs. They asked me to put my signature on a paper. I could do all of this with no problem. We were convinced and happy that I could ...

  During my stay at my mom’s house, my condition was on a path to recovery. Since my home is not far from my mother’s, I took the opportunity to make a brief visit and check if I could still play on the veena. It was certainly not at my former capability, but I was quite happy that I could still play. One busy morning, as my mother was busy with the usual morning chores, I wanted to be of some help to her. So I pleaded with her to offload some work, and she let me make a rice dish that involved mixing cooked rice with vegetable gravy. I just could not mix it. This was shocking to me as I presumed I knew how to do this simple task.  oh!!!! My fingers and my wrist just didn't move like I wanted. The next day, I tried to make a dough out of wheat flour, and this also turned out to be an ordeal. I realized that as my verbal skills and memory improved, my motor skills were deteriorating. It dawned on me that the memory issue was just a part of the problem. There were a lot more pro...